(Work and work) Well those cars never seem to stop comin’.
(Work and work) Keep those rags and machines hummin’
(Work and work) my fingers to the bone
(Work) at five I can’t wait ’til it’s time to go home

Car Wash  © Rose Royce

WEIRD SCIENCE® meets CAR WASH®

We came across this article featuring a fusion ceiling fan cast in the image of an automated car wash machine. The author states that ceiling fans have not changed too much since their inception. Perhaps he should check out Fanimation for their unusual shapes and designs, but I digress. Yes, companies such as the laborious Minka Lavery still crank out the same tried and true and totally dull fans for the great unwashed out there, but other manufacturers are getting creative. As with ceiling lights, the combination of new light technologies like LED’s combined with what I call the Art Center design approach of the New Online Universities make objects like ceiling fans and ceiling lights objects de arte. The Dervish lamp as pictured is clever, funky, weird, and mod, but I still suggest that this is only the beginning of the cycle. Lamps and fans can take on any shape, and I have seen them at art fairs like the Strawberry Festival in Oxnard, CA (And I even bought one myself, busman’s holiday, so to speak). The trick is to get those stodgy companies to take a design risk, and then get the UL® listing, and that really is the trick. I could see Varaluz getting into the act, because they are kinda nutty over there, anyway (and I mean that with the greatest respect). But too many of the old fogies in the biz are just that, old fogies! The concept of modern art is totally lost on them, and they wouldn’t know MOCA from mocha.

So, it’s up to you, the next generation of lighting designers, arts and craft makers, and visual effects superstars to get into the act. Start fabricating mockups and design prototypes, and find a manufacturer who might be sympathetic.

(Weird Science)
Magic and technology
Voodoo dolls and chants
Electricity
Were makin’

(Weird Science)
Fantasy and microchips
Shooting from the hip
Something different
Were makin’

Weird Science © Danny Elfman and Oingo Boingo

FUSION LIVES!

The Serio Modern Twenty Bulb Island Light (product page: http://www.affordablelamps.com/tra-mdn-147.html) by Trans Globe Lighting is Fusion realized, quite literally looking like a giant fuse. This pendant lighting fixture represents Italian contemporary design fused with special effects to create a truly modern pendant that will elicit oohs and aahs from your house guests. It measure an astonishingly 37” long by 4.5” wide, and hangs down 25” from the ceiling, so make sure you have high ceilings for this one, or your experiment with fusion will be over real quick. This construct uses 20 ten watt halogens G4 bulbs, so do allow for the heat. It is pricey at $682.00, but if your special effects budget will allow for it, the effect will be scintillating.

I can visualize this pendant in a museum, night club, or bistro, as well.

“Is that a bed on the ceiling, or are you just happy to see me?” Cherry Tree Design is a master of Asian style lighting, almost without peer, and their ceiling lights collection is no exception, as their marvelous use of jigsaw walnuts panels with ivory stone acrylic glass make this CityZen Asian Flushmount (product page: http://www.affordablelamps.com/cht-l428.html) a real treat to behold. Measuring 15.5” wide by 6.75” high, with 14.25” depth, this Zen enhanced flushmount fixtures sort of looks likes an upside down bed frame actually. Or did I just ingest too much wasabi? This fixture uses two 60 watt incandescent bulbs or two 26 watt CFL’s, not included. This is a simple design, yet quite effective, and perfect for any bedroom where a flushmount would be appropriate. Also appropriate for any Japanese business where a flushmount is needed. CityZen sounds like the new movie from director Fernando Meirelles. I wonder if he knows that yet?

Howdy, pardner! Al has a headache today, so I’m gonna fill in for him. I’m Buck Johnson, specialized representative, and today I’m reviewing the Kalco Lighting Ponderosa 2-Light Outdoor Wall Sconce (product page: http://www.affordablelamps.com/kal-9162.html). This here is a rustic lighting piece, and if it reminds you of Bonanza, then you are not alone, pardner. This here wall sconce is a might woodsy, with its broad hats and pine cone finials and country style. The Ponderosa is made out of handcrafted iron, with something called faux marble glass, whatever the heck that is. It measures 14” wide by 23” high by 14.5” in profile, and uses two 100 watt bulbs. Kalco is too darn cheap to include them, so you gotta pony of the dough for those.

I reckon that Joe, Hoss, Adam and Ben would love to have these here sconces all over the ranch, assuming they could get electricity, that is. There’s a matching right wall sconce available, too, for your sweetheart.

Now listen up, you cowhands. These here fixtures are made to order, so I don’t wanna hear no bellyaching about cancellations or returns, you understand? Don’t make come down there and whoop ass now.

Back in 1979, I made my first pilgrimage to Europe by myself, spending three months abroad, visiting 17 countries, and in the process, broadening my perspective of life and the world. I went back four more times, but the first trip is the one that sticks. While in England, I thought to stop by Brighton in the south and attend the World Science Fiction Convention held there. However, some bozo at A Change of Hobbit Bookstore in Santa Monica gave me the wrong date, and I showed up 2 days after the convention has closed. I left Brighton in a huff, and took a train over to Portsmouth, where I spent one wretched night in a youth hostel there, where the “commandant” made everyone clean out the toilets, if you can believe that. I left the next day for London, where I met up with some fellow travel buddies, and spent the next week in Surrey, having a good time, and purging the name Portsmouth from my memory.

So, after seeing this new outdoor lighting entry by Fine Art lamps, all those images come flooding back, the good, the bag, and the wretched. Well, this Portsmouth 12 inch outdoor flush mount in solid brass (product page: http://www.affordablelamps.com/fin-614682.html) is stunning, and has absolutely nothing to do with that coastal English city, except that both are nautical. This is a solid brass fixture, measuring 19” wide, by 12”, and weighs a hefty 15 pounds (not sterling). It costs as much as my trip to England did, but this is far more pleasurable, and will last a lot longer. If you can afford them, get a pair. The design is truly amazing, almost like a Swiss watch. As far as flush-mount fixtures go, it is the best one I’ve seen, in any country.

In my last blog entry, I savagely criticized an Elk Lighting fixture. I make no apologies about it. I call them as I see them. So here we are again, with Elk lighting, featuring one of their new chandeliers, the Alexis Contemporary Three Light Chandelier (product page: http://www.affordablelamps.com/elk-20008-3.html). Now this is more like it, but I still don’t consider this contemporary. Shaped like a candle stick, this three light chandelier uses the four blown glass crackled spheres as the core, supporting three translucent shades, for a Barbarella design effect that is quite lovely. This fixtures uses three 60 watt medium base bulbs, or the CFL equivalent, and measures 25” in diameter by 26” in height, and there is a five light version out there, for the over achievers. I really like this fixtures, and give it thumbs up. Am I forgiven, ELK? I really want that free lunch on Halloween.